Qatari Funeral Rites

We attended a Qatari funeral the other day. A friend of ours lost his beloved father after a long illness. The death was expected, and he faced it well. He had time to make arrangements for his widow before he passed on, including remodeling the house.
His many children are all grown, with kids of their own. The family is taking it well, all things considered.

When Qataris experience a death in the family, the first thing the families do is say certain prayers for the deceased, and cleanse the body three times. This is done by the sons, if the deceased is a father. Although it is a literal cleansing, there is a certain ritual significance in it. It is a physical act of love and respect, and a way to say goodbye. Cleansing the body of a dead loved one creates a strong bond with the physicality of that person’s death. It is a powerful experience that people talk about long after the fact, how he/she looked, the feelings evoked by doing it, what happened before, during and after, etc. In this case one of the sons said that the body appeared to actually glow, and that he had a look of peace and contentment on his face. He was no longer in pain.

The body is buried in a simple white shroud, …no casket. It must be buried within twenty four hours. Graves in Qatar are dug out well in advance, as the earth is limestone. Each grave has a small indentation off to the side, at the bottom. This is so that when the grave is filled in, rocks aren’t thrown directly onto the body. There is no religious significance in that part of it, no special attachment is made to the corpse… the deceased is in God’s hands. It’s rather for aesthetic reasons that the corpse is protected.

A ceremony is held at graveside as the body is interred. A simple headstone, or sometimes none at all, is placed, and the grave is neatly lined with rocks. After the body has been buried, the family formally grieves for three days. Each night an open house is held at the home of the deceased, much like a wake. Friends, family and well-wishers come and offer their condolences, and help the family to process and accept the death.

We paid our respects. The women went one way, and the men another. On the men’s side a large room was constructed around the carport, using metal frames and carpets for walls. Dozens of chairs lined the perimeter of the room. As a new guest enters, he is greeted by a family member, and then proceeds to greet each of the other guests. This is standard procedure at any gathering. You walk around the perimeter and each guest stands, greets you, takes your hand and kisses you on the cheek. Brief pleasantries are exchanged.

After this you may seek out each of the male family members and offer your condolences and prayers for the deceased. Tea and coffee are served constantly. The mood is somber, but not sad. Qataris are philosophical about death. The sons displayed varying levels of grief, ranging from outward satisfaction that the deceased had lived and died well, to tears and sorrow. All mentioned that death is natural, life is brief, and that we shall all join the deceased soon.

The women’s area had a different mood. There was much less talk, and more grieving. This is where the widow was, and she will be the one most directly affected by the loss. Quran recitation was played on the stereo, voices were low, and no one talked much. The kids usually run and play everywhere, but for this event they were kept busy with quiet activities. No make up or jewelry is worn by Qatari ladies at funerals.

Faith tempers the grieving here. Due to a deep and strong faith, many express happiness that the deceased has gone to meet his Maker. Grieving itself is framed more as missing the deceased now that they are gone, rather than being sad for them. Many imams and religious scholars attended, funerals are an important part of their role. Between the sunset and nightfall prayer (nightfall meaning when it actually becomes dark), dinner was served. Huge trays, each stacked with a mountain of yellow rice and half a sheep were served.

I finally got to try sheep eyes. I’ve been in Qatar a year now, have been to dozens of Qatari-only events, and have never seen them eaten. It isn’t done much among the Qataris, but apparently is rather more of a Saudi thing. This time some Saudis were present. The eye itself dessicates with the roasting of the sheep, so it shrinks to less than half it’s normal size, like a flattened disk. It is a little chewy, …rubbery sort of, then a burst of warm fluid fills your mouth as you bite into it. Rather like that gum in the states, I have forgotten the name, but “the gum that goes squirt”. The taste is pleasant enough, not that much different than any other part of the sheep. The fluid has a meaty sort of taste, …eye gravy I suppose. It’s very watery, not gooey or sticky at all.

I have become completely used to stripping the meat off of sheep carcasses with my bare hands. The sheep is served with one large knife, which is used to make deep cuts across the carcass, making for easier access to the meat. After that, no utensils are used, you just rip hunks of meat off with your hands. The sheep is served in halves, and our half had the head, which was conveniently placed directly in front of me.

Even the skull is opened with bare hands. You first break the head off of the neck, easy enough when the sheep is cooked. Then you invert it, and break off the jawbones, each side splits off easily. Then you utilize one of the jawbones as a tool to pry open the skull, revealing the brain …which isn’t bad. The eyes are simply plucked from their sockets and eaten, although I hadn’t seen this done before up to this point. Several Qataris were mystified by this by the way… it really isn’t a Qatari practice for the most part.

When everyone has had their fill, the maids cart the trays off and pick the remaining meat off of the bones for other dishes. Drinks and side dishes are shared too. For clean up after the fact, large portable sinks are rented for these events. The women are usually inside the house, and the men outdoors, or in the majlis or the garage, so the women typically have all of the bathrooms except one. The portable sink frees up the one men’s bathroom for more urgent needs. It’s a large sheet metal cube on a trailer, filled with a couple of hundred gallons of water, and surrounded by faucets on all four sides. The water comes out of the spigot by gravity, it’s simple and efficient.